dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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