hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
