I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
