Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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