If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
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i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
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Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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