My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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