member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Randomize
