so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
