She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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