I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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