he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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