people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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