I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
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Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
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Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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