Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
