I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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