I wannas sexs uuuuu
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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