Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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