just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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