Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize