So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
