Soap is not a condiment
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
