He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You can't just leave with hair like that
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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