i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Randomize
