everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!