oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*