Me. At least after what I've been through.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity