I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
