he thought i was a dude.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Randomize