It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
