There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize