Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Sorry about my life...
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
