so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
