I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
not ubering you a puppy
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
