Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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