I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
im six kinds of drunk right now
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
