So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
