I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
