Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
