i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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