College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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