she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
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I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
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Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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