I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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