ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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