i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
