I cockslap morals
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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