never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
