Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
