Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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