If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
