Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
