I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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