Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
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