She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
