Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
where does the pee come out of this thing
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
