P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
