Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
