idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
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i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
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There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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