why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
