he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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