i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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